Deirdre Ryan-Prewett (killarneypride) wrote,
Deirdre Ryan-Prewett

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May 18th, 1982 - early morning

Tomorrow is going to be difficult. It's the first anniversary without Fabian. We would have been married three years.

I obviously still wear my ring. And the necklace he gave me for my birthday last year. I never take either one off, so it feels like he's still close. But the pain is still there.

I still have all of the pictures that were up in the flat. Nothing in it has changed since he died. I can't even make myself move the furniture. I can't leave this place, even though I certainly have the means to go elsewhere. There are too many memories. Maybe one day I'll realise the change of scenery would be good for me, but until then... I'm not going anywhere.

All in all, I will be distracted tomorrow. Even if we weren't playing the Cannons, I would have asked for the match off. It wouldn't be fair to anyone. I know it's been nearly seven months, but... I'm still a mess.

Good luck tomorrow, Kestrels. I'm sure you'll do just fine without me. It's the Cannons, it's not like it'll be hard.

Good luck tomorrow, Niamh. I should be able to make it up to see your match!
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